The unspoken Questions.

TW: Mentions of suicide, self-harm.

 I promise, I’m not suicidal.

I’m simply just a soul that wonders.

Because while I might never be able to relate to certain things, I relate to them through my thoughts and my words.


I wonder if the ones who did it with a rope

thought, “Oh shit! Maybe life wasn’t that bad,” when the rope compressed their windpipe.

If, in that moment, they wished someone would reach out and lift them,

just enough to let them breathe again.


If the ones who drowned themselves fought for air,

not even bothered about the big fishes or the belly of the sea,

only feeling the ache of their lungs.

I wonder if they thought, “Maybe it would have gotten better.”


I wonder if the ones who swallowed what never belonged in their bellies

ever thought, “Oh my God, I shouldn’t have been the bane of my own existence!”

while groaning in pain, absorbing the slow betrayal of their own organs—whispering goodbye, one by one.


You know what I wonder the most?

The ones who didn’t think anything.

The ones who submitted to the silence willingly.

The ones who gave in, not in fear, but in relief and happiness that it couldn’t be undone.

I wonder how unbearable the surface of this earth must have been

for them to go down without a fight.

I wonder how bad that one person or experience must have been.

I wonder if they actually ever found peace

and mostly,

if the grass is greener on the other side.


I saw a video that said, “I pray there’s a place in hell where it burns a little softer for those who couldn’t save themselves.”  So I thought to post this piece I had written a while ago.


~Hadiqah.O


PSA – To anyone reading—especially my mom:šŸ˜‚

This piece might sound dark, but I’m not in a dark place. It’s not a reflection of my own state of mind because I’ve never had those thoughts (Alhamdulillah).

I write because I care deeply, and sometimes that means wondering about things I’ve never lived through.

I write from a place of curiosity, compassion, and empathy for what others survive—or don’t.

Comments

  1. FareedahJune 22, 2025 at 6:41 AM

    Mama I was so scared.
    But Alhamdulilah you are not suicidal.
    This piece is scary and dark o.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Zulfah SonaikeJune 22, 2025 at 8:08 AM

    This is so deep!! Alhamdulillah for all what we have. You are such an inspiration, I love that you care even about things you have never lived through.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Babatunde H.AJuly 20, 2025 at 2:48 PM

    I honestly pray we don't end in hell because this piece initiated the thought of it and bruhhh!šŸ˜–

    ReplyDelete

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